Monday, June 14, 2010

The Invisible Bond

"Close your eyes. Fold your arms and bow down. Now say 'Oh Lord. Protect me'. And He will protect you Forever." This was my first ever experience in Prayer. A simple act of obedience towards my Mother. An act of blind faith, without even knowing what Faith meant. They say it takes a miracle for one to start believing in Him. It took several miracles for me to affirm allegiance to Him. These weren't life changing incidents, but were miracles nonetheless. The fact is, what might be a miracle to me, might sound like an ordinary chain of events to someone else.

When a non-believer, I mistook the purpose of Prayer. Whenever I prayed, I felt God was being thrust upon me. I resented prayer to resist His thrust. Prayer didn't calm me. It agitated me, instead. I claimed that I had a lot of Faith in my own abilities and that I found it cowardly to reach out to external forces. The virility of youth, it had to be. I would cringe each time I heard someone chant a shloka, a pang of guilt running through me. The guilt of non-conformance.

Adversity can be quite the eye opener. You will be surprised to discover how much battering your mind/ heart can put up with. Dealing with a crisis and coming out of it unscathed is very rare. The scars of experience cannot but leave their mark on you. At the end of it, you could be strengthened/ hardened to such an extent that you cease to trust anyone, but yourself. Otherwise, you may be humbled to the point where you trust noone, but Him. Which one of these transformations you undergo, is not just a coincidental eventuality. It is the consequence of a conscious choice between two paths - One that gives you total control over the situation versus another, that requires you let go of the need to be in control.

I chose the latter. That will probably remain to be the best decision of my life.

Though this sounds like the easy way out, it isn't. Its hard to go beyond reason and leave everything to that imperceptible force that is called God. Even harder is, to do this without doubting the outcome. It happens often that we don't know what is best for ourselves. We tread a chosen path, assuming it is the right one. When once something goes slightly wrong, we look all around for the one who gave us wrong directions. Thus begins a malicious blame game and we forget about our journey itself. On the other hand, say we choose Him as our compass. We cannot possibly be misguided by our compass at any point. So, even if the road is rough for a while, the destination is in sight and we know we're on track. But the important thing is to know that your compass will always be right. No matter what.

The rewards of unflinching Faith are known to be abundant. Who am I to validate this? Nobody. Just another believer, like you. They say:

Jo bhi tere darr aaya, jhukne jo sar aaya  
Mastiyan piye sabko jhoomta nazar aaya
Pyaas leke aaya tha, dariya woh ghar laya
Noor ki baarish mein bheegta sa tarr aaya

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