Judgement Day

"Judgmental" has become quite a fashionable word of late. Tune in to a talk show on TV and the most common statement of defence is on the lines of "Well, you can choose to be judgmental about the whole issue, but the fact of the matter is... blah blah blah". Eavesdropping into a conversation about Obama winning the Nobel for peace, yields the same result. I admit, I've used it on several occasions myself. So many times, that I have come to question the negative connotation of the word itself. What is so bad in being judgmental after all? Nothing, really. As long as you're not biased, its ok to be judgmental. Just as I get into the mood and switch to my psychoanalyst avtaar, better sense prevails and calls for an abrupt change of topic.

On an average, I spend nine hours at my workplace everyday. Of this, I put in about six hours of productive work that counts towards progress. About an hour towards lunch and coffee breaks. And the rest of the time is dedicated to my "Watch, Listen and Enjoy" sessions. The first two factions of my day are quite mundane and any elaboration on them will put you to sleep. Let's not go there. However, what I must share with you is the experience of WLE. Here is what I do. I have a program or document opened up on my computer screen and I stare at it, seeming visibly attentive. Now that the stage is set, I let my mind wander. Not too far. Just far enough to observe and absorb the happenings and conversations among my neighbour colleagues. I'm careful enough to make sure that I click randomly on the screen, switching between tabs, scrolling up and down, lest someone suspects me for my unusual stillness. Honestly, this turns out to be the liveliest portion of my work day. Although my observations are based on what I notice around me, the fear of losing my job prevents me from giving you specific details. :) So what I'll let you peek into is a generalized taxonomy of the contemporary workplace.

First there's the quiet, shy guy. Asocial. Remains rooted to the seat from 9 to 6, oblivious to his surroundings. The only talking he does is during meetings, which is when you realize he's been working enough to put an industrious worker bee to shame. Quite the dedicated chap. Then there is the kind who can't work in silence. They love to let the whole world know what they're up to. One thank you mail from a higher up for having delivered a task promptly and they'll rave about it the entire week. Of course, they're cunning enough to avoid even the slightest of embarrassing incidents. Who isn't!?

But right across from there is probably the loudest, most obnoxious person in the office. He does everything, but work. Sitting at his seat, he pays his bills, discusses grades with his kid's teacher, chats up his ex-colleagues, trades on the stock market and despite that, cribs constantly about how much work there is to do. His cellphone ringtone is forever set to the highest volume possible. The worst part is that he does all this so unabashedly, completely disregarding basic work etiquette. It's hard to understand why companies tolerate such incompetence. But you know, this doesn't annoy me half as much as the next type. The ladies. The evil, conniving ladies. It seems like I possess a certain magnetism that strongly repels my female colleagues away from me. I would not be exaggerating if I said that they despise me. They make it a point to leave me out of their coterie. Not that I'm dying to be part of it. But, such things make a difference to me. I would rather choose not to be part of it than be left out! I'm amazed at how they have the cheek to look through me even when we come face to face. Of course, these women are not part of my generic classification. They thrive only in my current habitat. Hopefully.

Apart from these most prominent ones, there's the kind who itch to get up from their seat every five minutes, the cellphone whisperers, the Christmas trees who come decked up everyday and not to forget, the late-latifs who come in to work coolly at 12 noon blaming the early morning mist and mid morning traffic! A few months more, and the Carl Linnaeus in me is sure to discover many more of these classes.

And you tell me not to be judgmental! Come now. This is fun! :)

Oops.. I did it again!

Have you ever been in a situation where you were terribly embarrassed with yourself? Embarrassed that you could be as foolish as you seem to have demonstrated. The only saving grace being nobody noticed it and hence, nobody knew/ knows about it. Just this morning, I started reading a book - I will not state the name of the book, simply to spare myself of your mockery. The story has been narrated in first person and I had somehow taken it for granted that the author was male. Well ,these Americans can get funny with their names I tell you! I once met this guy at a house party who introduced himself as Axel. Call me stuck up or anything you want, but I don't think too much of the name!

Coming back to this book, I sailed through the first two chapters of the book, building an opinion about the protagonist - a 5 year old kid, describing his relationship with his older brother and other playmates. All very cute. Somewhere in the middle of the third chapter, this older brother gets all sentimental and talks about always being there to protect his "little sister". I paused for a moment, trying to recollect any reference to a third sibling. When I could not, I was faced with the sudden realization that it had been a girl narrating this story all along. I could not believe myself. What a fundamental miscalculation this was. I felt silly, stupid and almost cheated!

In my defence, the "girl's" name was hardly feminine. Neither was the author's! (Again, I don't wish to provide specific details) But that one moment, I blushed in the face and I remember slapping my forehead chidingly. Of course, I immediately looked around me to see if anyone had spotted my gesture. Thankfully, I was safe! :) It is only now that I find out that the author is indeed female and that, in her pen name, she has deceivingly left out her first name (which, incidentally, is glaringly feminine) and writes with her middle and surnames.

Frankly, I often have such moments and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this matter. Why in fact, I have many more in the midst of company and everyone has a hearty laugh about my lapse! I am a good entertainer after all. Above all, a lesson well learnt. Before I start my next book, I'm going to pay some attention to the blurb along with doing some serious background check on the author!

25 Random Things

Turns out I'm not that good a writer after all. I ran out of ideas to write and then when I did get some, I just got plain lazy. This post is actually thanks to Gowri. She tagged me in one of her notes in Facebook where she wrote 25 random things about herself. This inspired me to do the same! Except its not on Facebook and I haven't tagged anyone on it. I hope I haven't drawn too much from her note :)

Here goes:

1. I've never felt bad about being short. This despite being mocked at almost all the time by my "tall" friends.
2. I love the smell of wet earth - you know, when it just begins to rain. Whats more - I love to be out when its raining!
3. I'm extremely spiritual. Quite religious too. And these I inherit directly from my Mother.
4. Music feeds my soul. Trite as this sounds, its true. 100%. I find myself singing under my breath..ALL the time. In the shower, while checking my email, while cooking. Why, even as I write this gibberish.
5. I can listen to music all day. A good pair of plug-in earphones is vital for an enjoyable experience though.
6. I cannot dance. As much as I try to - I just cant get myself to jive to the beat!
7. I'm a good public speaker. But for the initial jitters, I carry myself well on stage.
   
8. I'm terrible at handling money. I often lose track of my debts and loans. Thank god for Excel!
9. I can spend hours playing word games online. I'm addicted to them!
10. There are 3 things that I love to eat - chocolate, pulikaachal and snow :P
11. Talking about food, I hate to eat a meal all by myself. It throws me into depression!
12. There's one thing I look forward to every year - my birthday. I usually have a personal 30 day countdown towards it :)
13. I've never had long hair. Each time I decide to grow it long, I get tired of it and get it chopped!
14. I'm a tentative learner - be it a sport or a technical concept, I'd like to take my own time.
15. It takes me some time to make friends. A really really long time to break off from them.
16. I cry very easily. Sensitive me!
17. I'm good at giving advice. Sometimes this makes me think I should have become a psychiatrist!
    
18. I speak my mind all the time. There have been so many times that I've asked myself to shut up. For my own good.
19. On the contrary, I'm a soft hearted romantic on the inside. Few people know this side of mine.
20. I enjoy working out in the gym. Its another issue that I don't do it often! But when I do do it, it liberates me. :)
21. I cannot stand incompetence, hypocrisy and betrayal.
    
22. I often skim through old pictures of family and friends. Verrry often actually. :P
    
23. I have a firm belief in Karma. What goes around, comes around.
24. I work better on my own than in a team. But this is changing - slowly and steadily. :)
    
25. Having written this, I'm beginning to like myself more! :D
    

My Visual DNA

I found this on a friend's blog. Its good fun! :)